Friday, October 16, 2009

Sunday is the Big Day

This coming Sunday, Oct 18 th, the day before my oldest daughter turns 15, my mom is moving in with us. That's in 2 days. She's 78, declining mentally and physically. She really wishes she could stay and live where she has for the past 45 years, but life at her home is becoming expensive with caregivers and overnight help. Having Gramma move in has allowed my family to move into a much bigger, more modern, nicer home. We now have 3 bathrooms, a total of 7 sinks, a pool in the back yard, and 5 bedrooms. We have a piano room, a dining room, a kitchen area and living room. The house is nice in a way we have not lived, only dreamed of. It's too close to the freeway for my tastes, but the light and wood is beautiful. My closet has 3 walls of bars, 4 shelves, a light and a door. And my husband has his own closet, not quite as roomy as mine, but big enough for him, his dresser, and all his stuff.

Mom has dementia. We are just getting use to what type, what meds work and all the stuff a diagnosis of dementia brings into those who are close to the person. Mom needs help with remembering what to do every day, like, when do I get up, do I need to get dressed, what am I doing today. She's capable of taking care of her needs, can shower and get dressed, but she can't remember if she ate, what she ate, or even if she's hungry. She needs help with taking her medications, and more than anything, she needs loving company and mental stimulation.

I homeschool my kids, all 3 of them, so we are home day and night. We have all kinds of fun going on at home, from baking, to singing, to piano playing, video games, life, all day every day flows through our home. So Gramma is coming to homeschool with us and it is both really exciting and really scary all at the same time.

I hope mom likes it here. I hope she can be comfortable. I hope she can open up a bit to doing activities around town. More than anything, I hope she feels at peace with herself and her surrounding and becomes OK with being dependant. This option of her living here with us just one of several options. She could stay where she is, spend a ton of money on caregivers, and continue to live with my sister and her family. My sister is at a place in her life, though, that she needs not to have the burden of a dependant mother at home. Her kids are growing and need more room, she works full time and can not be with mom easily day in and day out. She also travels for work. My brother works too and again, the lack of daily activity just leave mom alone. Another option is assisted living and mom really does not want to move to a home. She has a big fear of homes and has made it clear she would rather die than move into a home. So I'm offering the gift of our home, for now, and we will see where this adventure takes us with Gramma makes 6.

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