Sunday, October 18, 2009

Are you sure? she asks

Mom wasn't able to move in today. The mover couldn't move her furniture. Once her bed moves then she moves, as she doesn't want a new bed at all. Hers is hers and the place she spends much of her time. I just talked on the phone with my mom to see how she's doing, as my sister has mentioned she depressed. I know she is scared and she told me plainly, I'm scared. I can deal with scared. She's lived in her home for 45 years. I don't think she ever imagined living anywhere else. Her moving in with us came about with the dementia diagnosis and is a big big change for her, so of course she is scared. I'm looking forward to the transition from mom will move in to mom has moved in. So much is in the unknown right now. Will she be able to get in and out of her shower here. What bath safety work do we need to do to make sure it is safe. We have new doctors to meet and new routines to establish. I have clients who want yard work done, but I'm not sure of my availability yet.

On the phone, she sounded scared, yet hopeful. Eager too for the change to happen. She's been waiting since mid August, that's when I offered to have her live with us and she accepted. She still wants confirmation that it's OK to move in with us and having dementia doesn't help her remember that yes, she is welcome and we all are ready for the move. She asked me 10 times, Are you sure? And each time I answered, yes, I am sure we want you? Deep down inside I don't think she feels she is wanted places and it will be nice to show her, that yes she is wanted and welcome into our home.

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