Thursday, December 15, 2011

Home and Decisions and Dementia

Well, after 5 days in the hospital, 2 colonoscopies, 2 x-rays and a whole lot of oxygen, my mom came home on Sunday evening. She was exuberant, loving all the Christmas lights we passed, hugged everyone at home,and sat with the tree for awhile. She also ate, sat by the fire for a bit and was more lively than she has been in months.Our new friend, Mr. Oxygen was at the house, along with several travel companions, we call George. This is new, mom needs oxygen now. She was desating...also known as not having enough oxygen in her body to function well at the hospital.

Night one was tough, she was grateful to be home, but very unsteady on her feet, weak. In the am when I got her up she was messy. That's also new. I watched how the techs at the hospital cleaned her up, so I was comfortable, had the right tools, and kept things light. She did wake several times through the night, but hey, she just got home.

She was not there mentally Monday morning, talking with her eyes closed, grunting, that kind of thing. She was out of it. Seemed drugged. I took it as a need for sleep and kept things really simple for her, though I did get her up several times to walk around the house.

Tuesday she woke up and was messy cleaned her up, reminded her to CALL me when she needed to go...and we started our day. Again she was out of it, so I called the doc and we made an afternoon appt. By the time the appt. came I could tell she was coming out of the fog. Her eyes were opening, she was thinking, mostly worrying, but thinking and being present. She checked out fine at the appt. Me and George, though had some trouble negotiating the wheelchair, tank driving. See my mom she has some mass, weighted in well over 250lbs this last time. I tried to find the humor in it all, me trying to turn, George heading the other way, ramming my mom's feet into walls...Pathetic...

Wednesday mom is herself, though she did wake up messy...oh well. She ate, she laughed, she worried, she asked lots of questions...Now dementia is weird. Sometimes she remembers everything, but right now, the stress of this all, when I went in to wake her Wed. am, she looked all scared and said "Is the ambulance here?" I was like "Why?" and she said..." To take me to my surgery" Um..."no, you do not have any surgery planned" Later on that day she asked, when do I go in for surgery, and promptly said, I am not having surgery.

So backing up a little, mom was diagnosed with colon cancer. She has an 8 cm mass near blocking her colon plus 2 other masses. Surgery is recommended, but mom aslo is having trouble with her oxygen, she has a stint in her aorta, and surgery just may kill her. We do not know. This is real, and big and scary and all options SUCK...End of rant.

Physical therapy came yesterday and is coming again today. I am having OT, and a social worker come. I am taking my mom to a appt. Friday and another one in 2 weeks. That si all I know right now. And I am trying to help gmom see, today is beautiful, today is here, today you are breathing and eating and noticing how cute the cat is. Today you will have an appt. with PT. That is all. We can not know what tomorrow brings, we don't know if she will hemorrhage again, or have her colon blocked. What we do know is it's raining, she's comfortable, taking a nap after having breakfast.

My life is shifting into mom care for my mom and I am going to have to remember that I also have a house full of teens and a wonderful husband. I will be looking into caretakers now. Mom will be diciding what she wants to do about this cancer. She was saying the other day..."boy this dementia sure gets in the way of undersatnding everything everyone is telling me" Now that is one smart lady.

No comments:

Post a Comment