Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Is the blog broken? An update

No, the blog is not broken, I just keep finding other blogs to read and forget to write on my own. I can say that things have shifted from the new to the more this is our life now. Some of the days are more fluid than others. My mom has shown a whole lot more emotion both joy and frustration, which I think is very good, but at the same time it can be a bit scary too? I went away for my first weekend, leaving Tim and Tessa in charge. From their perspective things went great. My mom spent a lot of time crying yesterday, though, so I'm not sure she enjoyed me being gone. She then wanted to go out and about and that is what we did. I took her to run errands, took her to buy makeup, took her to Target for the first time. She opted to sit at the entrance and not walk in very far, but she went in and talked to someone and had a nice time. She easily gets up and out here, on days she wants too. On other days, she just wants to stay tucked in bed. I let her decide, which sometimes makes her mad because she wants to be told what to do. For those who know me, I don't tell people what to do:-)

We all will be taking a ski vacation on Sunday through Tuesday. I have a friend who is available to be here for my mom, though my mom doesn't know her very well. I am sure it's going to be a bit hard for Gramma and part of me is uncomfortable leaving her, but I need to trust she will be fine, even if she is a bit sad, and we need to carry on as a family and enjoy our life, like going skiing together.

Gramma has been getting into various snacks when we are not available and they are not the most nutritious ones. She made herself a bread butter and sugar sandwich yesterday. She ate the sugar cookies we had left out. We are now putting the butter up at night, just to make sure she is supervised when she uses it. Part of me is glad she is comfortable enough in the house to make her own things in the kitchen and part of me wants to be there to see what she is getting into, because her food cravings are sweet, sweets, and sweeter.

Riley and Tim find some of my mom's habits hard to tolerate and I am making sure to keep the line of communication open. I don't want anyone to feel they are suffering in our living situation and I want to help figure out solutions to problems that come up. Right now my mom is having a struggle showering, as she hates to take one. So on days when it is shower day, I am staying in the bathroom with her and will begin helping her clean herself. She doesn't like this at all. I invested in a hand held shower handle and will install that. She just hates the shower so much she goes in and gets out before she really cleans herself.

She does seem a bit more confused and yet at the same time, more centered. Dementia is weird, unpredictable, and fluid. I'm planning to reach out to the community for some resources on understanding a bit more about caring for an older person with memory issues. I want to make sure she has all the available support as we navigate this phase of her life.

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