Helping to find answers

Every morning I am greeted with big questions from Gmom. Usually it is related to something she is very afraid of. Today's question:

"Do I have to go back to the hospital?"

Remember, we are working to help her decide to have major colon surgery, so I paused, and this is what I said:

"Yes, you will have to go back to the hospital, either sooner if you decide to have surgery or later when your colon blocks and you have emergency surgery."

I liked how I came up with a yes, you do answer. Often I find myself answering to give her comfort in the moment. I could answer, "No, not today" or "not unless you decide on surgery", but is that the truth? No! The truth is, in her condition, she will wind up hospitalized or dead eventually if she doesn't have a surgery or she will walk into the hospital and say, "I am ready, fix this gut of mine".

Dementia makes conversations swirly and what is said in the moment doesn't always stick, so later today I suspect I will be answering her again when she asks,

"Do I have to go to the Hospital again?"